Citizen Poet

Daniel E. Speers is the author of all poetry on this site. Other than short quotes for reviews, permission and/or licensing is required for use. Website and all contents Copyright 2009-2011 by Daniel E. Speers For permissions: DanSpeers@CitizenPoet.com

A must read poem . . .

I Am a Poem, Bisensual

I Am a Poem, Bisensual is the poem that reads you as you read it.

_{USE CAUTION.}

This is an experimental, interactive poem -- a living, sentient being, both bisensual and bisexual. As you read this poem, it will make love to you.

The Prophets

The Washington Monument cracked apart.

God , said Robinson, cracked the plot.

Bachman said it was God who wrought

The death and pain that Irene brought.

An earthquake and a hurricane

Messages that they both proclaimed

Came from a God they claimed distraught

Upset because Liberals fought

The good Conservatives thought hot.

Which proves prophets need not be smart.

A love story:

Josie, Parts I - IV

This is an unusual love story. A young man finds himself falling in love, but he has no idea whether the object of his affectiuon is a man or a woman--and he soon discovers that no one will tell him the truth.

Part V In process

twittergrams

An Unfinished PunDitty -- Or,

The Trouble with Only Having

140 Characters on Twitter . . .

Bachmann has fit, Perry won't quit / Romney's still Mitt, Newt's a misfit / Cain's half a wit, Huntsman vote split / Santorum and Paul are full of

Twitted 11/15/2011

@manyko2 wrote: Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, March 25, 2010, on MSNBC: "Sarah Palin has the crosshairs of a gun sight over our district and when people do that, they’ve gotta realize there are consequences to that action." http://bit.ly/f3ZXws

NickKristof wrote I tried to interview a young woman who was surrounded and bullied by Mubarak's thugs. She stood her ground.heroically

To which I replied . . .

@NickKristof A similar tale, I recall / From those supporters of Rand Paul.

misspadalicious wrote I kinda love being Pisces, we all look at least 10 years younger than we actually are . . .

To which I replied . . .

@misspadalicious It's true we all look younger when / We'll never look this young again.

NakedAxiom wrote Glenn Beck livid after spot-on Daily Show mockery; wants a restraining order on Jon Stewart. http://bit.ly/9Ni97t ROFL!!! What a moron!

To which I replied . . .

@NakedAxiom Magic underwear distorts / All the words Glen Beck reports.

Varuka wrote I have to go to the grocery store, gonna shove a cucumber down my pants and see if anyone wants to do an "Enhanced" patdown on me.

To which I replied . . .

@Varuka It depends, you must remember / On the size of the cucumber.

DC JeffersonObama wrote Glaxo drops version of resveratrol "red wine" drug http://tiny.cc/8plqr

To which I replied . . .

@JeffersonObama

A pill is easy and it's fine / But I would rather drink the wine.

DC Debbie wrote

Looks like "The Hammer" got nailed!

To which I replied . . .

@DCdebbie When Tom DeLay is really jailed / That's when "The Hammer" does get nailed.

mommadona wrote

WHY is #Texas keeping U.S. from honoring national treaties? I think it's time for them to LEAVE #US ~ #OutOutDamnedSpot #gop #scum

To which I replied . . .

@mommadona I lived in Texas for a time / Turned out it was 1799.

Previous twittergrams:

@latimes wrote
The absolutely best Thanksgiving turkey recipe. Ever. http://lat.ms/bkbOON
To which I replied . . .

@latimes About your turkey recipe / Cooking this dish isn't easy / The turkeys are all in D.C.

To which @latimes replied . . .

@DanSpeers how quickly you forget. Alaska has a supply of turkeys as Sarah Palin showed us two years ago

To which I replied . . .

@latimes I thought I saw Sarah Palin / All the turkeys she was killing. / Did some survive, my lying eyes?

@SgBz wrote The best way to defeat the Republican Propaganda Machine is through humor - jokes have a way of circling the globe #p2 #p21 #pX

To which I replied . . .

@SgBz Some use jokes, I use poetry / Sarcastic poems have potency. /A poem a day has probity /And destroys idiocy.

@Uncucumbered wrote

''I haven't seen a half-monkey, half-person yet.''—Glenn Beck, calling evolution ''ridiculous'' #P2

To which I replied . . .

@Uncucumbered Glen Beck's half-man-ape comes clearer / When Beck peers into a mirrow.

Margoandhow wrote - John McCain has flipped his lid. His remarks about Boxer were almost obscene, considering they are fellow Senators. He will regret this.

To which I replied . . .

@Margoandhow McCain owes Boxer an apology / Trouble is, he can't remember who is she.

To which Margoandhowreplied

@DanSpeers I'm not sure he remembers who HE is

Zillapreneur wrote - The key I have found to loosing weight is not to loose your mind in the process.-Mr.Roger.

To which I replied . . .

@Zillapreneur My Don't Diet: / Don't buy it / Don't fry it / Don't try it.

DCdebbie wrote

- The summer is almost over, I need a long weekend of sin, sand and water. #tanning

To which I replied . . .

@DCdebbie I can't help with sand or tanning / But I've had practice with sinning.

tiffany_or_die wrote -

I can't help but wonder if anyone would miss me if I just suddenly disappeared.

#depressedtweet

To which I replied . . .

@tiffany_or_die Who misses she who disapears? / It will be the loan officer / When your car loan is in arrears.

JimGrygar wrote - I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but theyve always worked for me.

To which I replied . . .

@JimGrygar Some who are self-medicated / Soon become self-deadicated.

DCdebbie wrote - I'm gay on weekends and holidays.

To which I replied . . .

@DCdebbie When you're not gay, ask yourself why / You think you're not just getting bi?

A recent personal tweet:

When approaching sex, don't go slow / It's how you come, not how you go.

Kellbo0 wrote - RT @PaulaInTulsaOK: After I got sexed in, I decided I dnt wnt 2 B in a club that wld allow me as a member. But the sex thing was fun.

To which I replied . . .

@KellboO One sex club visit is for fun / But going twice is perversion.

janinewallace wrote - Glenn Beck – A Legend In His Own Mind ttp://bit.ly/94UVAC #p2 #digg #p2b #digguser via @mariopiperni

To which I replied . . .

@janinewallace Glen Beck's no legend in his mind / 'Cause his mind is really behind.

janinewallace wrote -

riddles are fun but not as much fun as puns.

To which I replied . . .

@janinewallace My puns like cream to the top rise / And though I try to always surpirse / Nothing cheesy gets pasteurize

MWM4444 wrote: In 97% of bird species, the male does not have a penis.

To which I replied . . .

@MWM4444 Bird dickies are rare, so says you / But I have seen a cockatoo.

...ok, Tweeters, enough with the cock and hen jokes...

Margonand how wrote -

what if you're having sex w/ your partner & you find yourself thinking of yourself? Is that cheating 2?

To which I replied . . .

@Margoandhow Your love partner should understand / Sex sometimes needs a helping hand.

The past spent, the future priceless,

Today's best buy is happiness.

Wine decreases inhibitions

And increases exhibitions.

You can't be down on

What you're not up on.

Death just opens the door

To what we were before.

Wisdom in action

Gives knowledge traction.

We count our foes' faults with delight,

While keeping our own out of sight.

Occupy here, occupy there,

Is now, occupi everywhere.

Flirting excites the eyes,

French perfume the nose.

A vote for sex I think is wise

If we vote ayes, ignore the no's.

Flirting excites the eyes,

Told by those with poor memory.

You won't harm your reputation,

If you don't supply the weapon.

Morals may work, but a witness,

Helps resist temptation the best.

My doctor has a manner nice,

Always dispensing fee advice.

All a good lie needs for impact,

Is proper selection of fact.

A rising tide will raise all boats,

As well as whatever else floats.

Love is great

when it partners hearts,

But great sex partners other parts.

Yesterday's PunDitty

Mitt Romney, the Polytheist,
Thinks "Chucky" Gingrich is the beast.

Yesterday's Epigram

Though we know what clothes are for,
As nudists, we like nothing more.

   Previous PunDittys
        Romney shows how a rich man scores,
        Getting rich from others' labors.

      Mitt says poor must the burden share,
       If poor need breath, he'll rent them air.

Previous Epigrams

We're all born ignorant, it's true;

It's stupidity we accrue.

Some hide behind inferences,

Nudists air their differences.

Read More of These in the PunDitty Vault

Read More of These in Recent Epigrams

A Chronical of the 201102012 Primary Season

The RepubliCants Presidential Field

That polytheist, Mitt Romney;

Challenges Newt's theocracy.

Rick Santorum is gaining fast,

He may be first to be the last.

Rich Mitt Romney's prosperity,

Requires the poor's austerity.

PolitiFact tells its own lie,

Hides call for Medicare to die.

http://tiny.cc/qeb0m

Iowa follows its own mind

Always a little bit behind.

Surveys show what Fox News won't show:

The more you see, the less you know.

Herman Cain pulled out when news got rough

Wife said it wasn't soon enough.

Newt Gingrich is surging ahead,

Has a big lead, and a big head.

Herman Cain's reconsidering,

Is he diddling or dithering?

Museum bans Bill O'Reilly's book

Because of the "liberties" it took.

FOX FactFree Zone - http://tiny.cc/45xdb

Herman Cain: God told him to run.

How'd he know that God was the one?

God told his wife, Santorum said,

That He wanted Rick to get ahead.

At least, that's what she thought He said.

Herman Cain calls Kochs his brothers

Same black hearts; different mothers.

Herman Cain says "high-tech lynching."

It's really just low-tech wenching.

An impish stance Rick Perry struck;

Of strange speech, we ask: What the puck?

Mitt Romney straddles north and south,

He's putting both feet in his mouth.

Did Rick Perry's duplicity,

Complicate his simplicity?

Bachmann promises jobs galore,

If you show Obama the door.

Rick Santorum says he'll be sought,

Since his politics need no thought.

Though he hasn't yet gone for broke

Sounds like Christie is sucking Koch.

http://tiny.cc/ea5re

Rick Perry's star has risen far

But Christie's here, raising the bar.

GOP jerks Christie for Pres --

Not ready is the jizz he gives.

--Anybody want a Big Mac

The earth-moving Christie groundswell

Turned out was more groundless than swell.

Mitt Romney changes roles so fast,

He'd make Ben Hur a one-man cast.

Give public jobs, Obama says.

GOP says: "Give us your job, Pres."

The day of solidary will pass,

But #Occupy now defines the class.

Newt and Mitt turned on each other;
Told the truth on one another.

SC causes Mitt some friction,
Turns well-oiled machine to fiction.

Newt denies pulling wool oe'r eyes,
Must be the different yarns he tries.

Newt Gingrich is losing his base,
Ironic since it's he who's base.

Ron Paul's appeal seemingly grows,

The further back in iime he goes.

Trump sees real birth certificate

Now doubts Hawaii was a state.

Mitt Romney attacks Newt Gingrich,

His zany charge is that Newt's rich.

Bishop Romney, we barely knew ye,

A betting man, apparently
Secretly. --Fancy some coffee?

Rick Perry sports his gay attire,

To light his Brokeback Mountain fire.

http://t.co/HE1a6szS

Fox News gives birth to deceptions,

Giving viewers misconceptions.

http://tiny.cc/1rpmz

Using pepper spray is questionable.

GOP claims it's a vegetable.

http://tiny.cc/hw3ic

News panel stumps poor Herman Cain,

They started by asking his name.

http://tiny.cc/w3duu

Bachman claims she's shorted on air time,

Oops, this sounds like her own head line.

http://tiny.cc/1hv37

Rick Perry's brain just went caput;

Shot off his mouth and self in foot.

http://tinyurl.com/cwfdvur

On sex charges, Herman Cain plays dumb

And when not playing, he stayed glum.

First, they said Cain wasn't Able

Now, it appears he's not stable.

Mitt Romney's problem untoward

Is: Which face does he put forward.

Rick Perry's campaign downhearted,

It stopped faster than it started.

Palin's tours are a conduit

She conducts for the fund of it.

One thing Rick Perry could not fake

Was how to make a good debate.

Rick Perry's debate did unwind

When he spoke what was on his mind.

Perry stumbles and mumbles: http://tiny.cc/2f6we

Perry and Romney fought in vain;

Their only success: raising Cain.

Though Christie declined with brio.

His conceit was slick as Crisco.

Christie: "I didn't feel it in my gut."

So he pulled his speech from his butt.

Scott Brown pens a nice student note,

Plagarized from what Sen. Dole wrote.

http://tiny.cc/g2w4s

Rick Perry wasn't hard to stop,

After plummeting to the top.

Rick Perry's debut peters out later,

Fails the test as a master debater.

"A Warning to Boys Who Climb Trees" -- A birthday poem for a 12-year-old boy.

Favorite Poems

Does Anyone Know I'm Here? So Very Cold Outside

What Would He Do? A Taste of Dirt The Last Cigarette

DONALD TRUMPET'S SLUMPIT -- THE MOUTH OF NEW YORK

ANTHONY WEINER'S WIGGLE ROOM -- Shameless PunDiddlies

Wisconsin Walker's Hypocrazy

Parrhesia: The Poetry Blog

Poems and Thoughts, and Observations . . .

Parrhesia means to speak candidly about literally everything, Embedded in the US Constitution,parrhesia was also a fundamental element of classical Athenian democracy, including the right to question, criticize, or satirize, as well as the right to ridicule that Aristophanes used so freely in his plays. It first appears in Euripides 'Hippolytus (line 422; performed in 428 B.C.) and Ion (lines 672, 675; of uncertain date). Today, Americans expect and demand the truth not only in courts, political arenas, and assemblies, but in business, private discourse, and even personal relationships. Parrhesia. I see what I see, I write what I feel, I paint with words, the world.

Dead Certain

An indictment of George W. Bush

A poem from the heart;

Marking the end of Iraq War.

George W. Bush has kept one promise he made as President--his pledge to go on the lecture circuit once his terms ended in order to "replenish" the family coffers. Underpinning this pledge was his carefully cultivated image of a warrior President--an image in fact based upon a lie, the war in Iraq, a war based on distortions of the truth, suggestions of impending doom from mushroom clouds, and the non-existtent Weapons of Mass Destruction.

Given this pledge that was revealed in the book, Dead Certain, and his messianic belief that he was getting his war advice from God with the hundreds of war dead filling those empty coffins on a midnight tarmac in what I feel was an illegal and immoral war, I felt both sorrow and disgust. I expressed my feeling a poem I wrote at the time. It's called

Dead Certain

And don't miss these great pages of satire and political punditry . . .

GLEN BECK's PAGE

Believe It or Not!! Read the Glenn Beck response to Dan's epigramic jibes. You won't believe what this nutcase said.

You've heard him cry, how he exhorts,

It comes from where he pulls reports.

His magic underwear distorts

Every word Glen Beck reports.

Please don't mention my name

DREADICATIONS

Speers' points aimed

at the truly weird

           The latest FOX News statistic:
           Twelve out of ten Liberal picks
           Will turn nation Communistic.
           Other four are Gay sadistic.
After FOX News' Fuzzy Math

    FOX lies are well documented
    What ails FOX is Ailes demented.
--Sharpened Speers

Fueled by FOX - Fooled by FOX

Conspiring John - Sen. John Ensign carried on an affair with a staffer who was married to another staffer, and who was the mother of another staffer, and attempted to cover up his daliance by having his supporters hire the cuckold.

I'm a Hamptons' fan, the senator said,

Some work on my staff, and some I embed.

The Further Adventures

of the Wasilla Hillbillies

Sarah laid bare . . . Todd barely keeps his ego fed . . .

Levi can't keep his Levis on . . . Facebook face off . . .

Up from the town came a bubbling crude

Hillbillies, that is.

Sarah Palin makes
John McCain boner,
Says she'll campaign . . .
in North and South
Arizona.

Zany Liz Cheney

Launches "Keep America Safe"

Fighting Mad - Defends Dad

Weighing Run for President

Loopy Liz and old Dithering Dick.

One a pinhead, the other a prick.

Cheney says torture probe unfair,

Perhaps we stick the probe elsewhere.

~~~~~

Meghan McCain

Straight-Talking Dad Has Out-Spoken Daughter

Calls Joe-the-Plumber a DumbAss

Taunts Malkin, Coulter and Ingraham

Flights

of Fancy

Sharpened

Speers

a new poetry

Antonyms
and
Apigrams

To go forward

We look backward.

In Remembrance . . .

Requiem for a Star

In nature's perfect universe

Parallel lines remain discrete,

Yet Michael Jackson found the verse

Where black and white could long last meet.

"Requiem for a Star" published 2009 at MJFC,
Michael Jackson Fan Club, www.mjfanclub.net
Copyright 2009 by Dan Speers

Weilding burrs and barbs in verse

CitizenPoet comments in ways diverse

using a unique form of poetic justice

to lampoon and skewer the indignities

of human foilbles and stupidities.

Fun Sites I Really Like

Poetry, Short Stories and More

The Jittery Goat

~ ~ ~

Mario Piperni:

Political Issues & Not

~ ~ ~

The Blogdog

~ ~ ~

Daniel Kurtzman's Political Humor

~ ~ ~

Robert Neff

A story in art and verse

Dalmation Press

Poetry Types - Old Versus New

At ShadowPoetry I have written about traditional poetic forms well-known and obscure, as well as an extensive list of invented Poetry Types, an activity going back centuries and still practiced by modern-day poets. I included my own invented poetry type, the Apigram.

Neil Diamond almost didn't make it to his Fourth of July concert with the Boston Pops. This is the story of the singer's midnight flight and fight to get to a Boston site late at night.

Twit If by Land, Tweet If by Sea

The Spiral Staircase

~ ~ ~

Begin Again the Same Again

~ ~ ~

A new federal tax imposed April 1, 2009 dramatically increased the price of cigarettes and reminded me of my own battles with tobacco before I was able to break the habit a number of years ago. This poem is my story:

The Last Cigarette

~ ~ ~

April 1: Budget, Smudgit, Fudgit

April Fool's Day

Have They No Cents?

~ ~ ~

April 7, 2009

Obama at the Front

Tweety Observations:

If short bits give you the jitters / Then you best avoid the twitters.

And so I wrote:

Tweets On Book Burning

Burning holy books is profane / Especially done in God's name.

Thank God religious hysterics / Produce religious heretics.

Buring the Koran: Evolution favors no favorites / It could be evolving more idiots.

Burning the Koran: One can believe in God in vain / By keep on killing in his name.

Buring the Koran: Religious values are celebrated / By zealots united in common hatred.

Any fool can claim to be a pastor / Even Rev. Jones, a national disaster.

Rev. Jones doing Christians proud / Now spewing hate and lies out loud.

To which I replied:

NorthwestFire wrote RT @AboutVetMed: What's your favorite CAT food and why? http://su.pr/2Bb48V < Depends on the wine I'm having.

To which I replied . . .

@NorthwestFire A Tiger for dinner would never do / That 500-pound pussy would eat you.

DCdebbie wrote Two exboyfriends texted me after DC earthquake, asking who I was with and what I was doing.

To which I replied . . .

@DCdebbie I think our mates already knew / We still sure can make the earth move.

GPappalardo wrote Every morning on the farm starts with a cock. A-doodle-doo.

To which I replied . . .

@GPappalardo When on the farm the dawn doth burst / The cock does the hardest thing first.

carolyncjjones wrote RT @MeredithMBell: "The love we give away is the only love we keep." - Elbert Hubbard

To which I replied . . .

@carolyncjjones @MeredithMBell When they say love is blind, I think / Explains whom I bed when I drink.

rcaplice wrote: @dannyson1 Sign me up! I'm ready for Antarctica right now. This heat is awful

To which I replied . . .

@rcaplice Live north of Boston, near Hampshire / To cool off, had to build a fire. .

inaimless wrote Palin writes down cost of extending bush’s tax cuts on her hand, still gets it wrong: http://bit.ly/9ObaZc #lol #p2 #tcot

To which I replied . . .

@inaimless Most people wash up when they stand / Palin reads what's left on her hand.

agville wrote Springfield City Council moves forward on urban-chicken farming http://bit.ly/aB6eqL

To which I replied . . .

@agville So Springfield now debates a lot / Where lots of chicks get lots of cock?

Kellbo0 wrote Funniest thing from Wife Swap previews, the woman sees the goat and goes "A freakin SHEEP?" Where do they get these people? #p21.

To which I replied . . .

@cjk4 My love thinks swapping is a bore / Whatever would she swap me for?

tonystevens4 wrote - A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same. Hubbard #quote rt @LoriMoreno

To which I replied . . .

@tonystevens4 A friend is one with whom you share / Quirks about which they don't care.

mommadona wrote -The biggest threat to religion, politicians and business is a woman on the pill.

To which I replied . . .

@mommadona Not just a woman on the pill with choice / But degreed, salaried, and her own strong voice.

Bobzeno wrote -Gore Vidal: "Litigation takes the place of sex at middle age."

To which I replied . . .

@Bobzeno Are you sure he mentioned, Litigation? / I could have sworn he said, Lubrication.

Learninlife wrote -

@profblmkelley @ChrisMacDen strange how religion can help the survival of oppression and justify the oppressor

To which I replied . . .

@Learninlife Good ideas are held captive / Behind religious invective.

calgrasley wrote - Tired of office politics? Work at home where you can be the boss. http://dld.bz/b5VM

To which I replied . . .

@calgrasley Plus, working at home leaves us free / To work all day quite nakedly.
MeredithBell wrote - "Tell me what you pay attention to and I will tell you who you are." - Jose Ortega y Gasset

To which I replied . . .

@MeredithMBell You tell me what you think of someone else / And I'll tell you what you think of yourself.

All content on this web site copyright by Daniel E. Speers

Tiger Woods: Ten Ways to Play the Lie

Spies and Lies!

Two great books by Dan Speers:

Tiger Woods: Ten Ways to Play the Lie

and

Master Spies Die Laughing.

Here's the book that takes on the CIA:

Dan's latest novel reveals tomorrow's news today.

The critics love it. Get your copy today! Click the eye!

Did you know that the TSA is deliberately concealing the truth about the quaility of backscatter x-Ray technology in order to mislead the public on how much of your naked body they can actually see?

See the actual photos on the left.

In this book, you will read the real facts about airport secuirty, scanners, sniffers, probe wands, and hidden RFID scanners that can read and even reprogram chips hidden in your clothing, your underwear and your shoes. And every word of the technology is absolutely true. If you want to know the truth, you have to read this book!

Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick holds a copy of my book Master Spies Die Laughing.

Parents, the police and the FBI have discovered school administrators and official Peeping Toms can secretely turn on computer cameras and monitor everything a student does at home from homework to changing clothes. But that's only tip of the iceberg. The authorities can not see your kids, they can track them and you using hidden spy chips in your underwear. Yes . . .

It's Happened Again!

Big Brother is in your pants. Today's news: They're hiding spy chips in your underwear. Just like I wrote about last year in Master Spies Die Laughing.

...and that's just for starters. Take a look at this:

Spy-Cams Hidden in Student

Laptops Secretly Spy on Kids

Just over a year ago, I also wrote all about how spy chips were being hidden in laptop computers in America.

The Secret's Out! The underwear bomb is in the book, Master Spies Die Laughing, page 55.

And now...

Read about spies in your pants.

How they're bugging your underwear.

(Chapter 2: Page 19)

The NSA has a copy of my book. Why the hell didn't they read it?

Everything is in the book--the liquid trigger, the detonator, the PETN. Could the authorities have prevented the attempted Christmas Day bombing?

Master Spies

Die Laughing

Want a personalized autographed copy for your mate or special friend for Christmas? Click the eye and Dan will get it for you!

Here's the book that takes on the Tiger:

Tiger Woods:

Ten Ways to Play the Lie

Why did the Tiger cheat

on his wife?

At last, the inside story --the book that names names, exposes the lies, covers the jokes and explains why it happened! Includes the famed Tiger Woods Dictionary.

Tiger Woods doesn't win, but he's back!

Yep, he's still Masters' bait.

See for yourself. Read excerpts, sample chapters, reviews, and, of course, Citizen Poet's infamous satirircal poetry. Now with quotes from famous golfers and celebrities and even includes the exclusive and infamous 19th-hole version of the Tiger Woods Dictionary.

The print edition of Tiger Woods: Ten Ways to Play the Lie is is available here, on Amazon.com, Barnes and Nobles, and other bookstores everywhere. Paperback: $7.50. Kindle and eBook editions for your laptop: $1.99.

Tiger Woods unites wife and golf,

Better a kiss than a kiss-off.

Boxes Lie Waiting

Dan's mystery "Boxes Lie Waiting" cited by Amazon.com, Publishers Weekly and Penquin Groups USA in Amazon.com's Breakthrought Novel contest. Learn all about the citation, discover the bizarre coincidence of the discovery of a real body exactly where Dan said it would be found, read the free excerpt HERE and sign up for free notification of publication date.

In a bizarre coincidence, on the same day the local newspaper ran a story about Boxes Lie Waitng, which begins with the discovery of a body at Winnekenni Castle, the unbelievable happened. Police discover a body at Winnekenni Castle. And Dan gets a call.

Get Your Copy Now!

Gov. Sanford's Lament

NEWS ITEM - May 25, 2009 - Gov. Mark Sanford of South Carolina admitted an affair with a Latin lover from Argentina. The governor had originally clalimed to be hiking the Appalachian Trail, including on a Sunday that happened to be Nude Hiking Day. The press conference went like this...

Don't Cry for Me, Appalachia

Sandford said God will make him whole,

Though he put himself in the hole.

I hate to say I told you so

What they show they show:

X-Scanners

Airport scanners show
     all just fine,
Give new meaning to
    "butt in line."

You may as well
     grin and bare it,
Your X-scan is going
     to share it.

  Male or female, X-scans will out
Even those with the slightest doubt.

Hiliary Clinton: "Youv've got folks putting explosives in their underwear. Who would have thought?" Actually, I did. I wrote about it in my book, Master Spies Die Laughing (page 55). And, yes, I also wrote about the suprising new device that is coming next in airport security.

The Pride of Massachusetts

a tribute to

Ted Kennedy . . .

--a poem about this family,

this pride of lions . . . and

Ted's Song

Featured Poems

A Taste of Dirt

~ ~ ~

What Would He Do?

~ ~ ~
Everybody Loves Babies

~ ~ ~

December_{Tribute to Robert Frost}

~ ~ ~

War Poetry

_{_{America's Burden}}

~ ~ ~

_Dissention

~ ~ ~

Dead Certain

~ ~ ~

_From_{Master Spies Die Laughing}

_{the novel, comes the ballad}

_{~ ~ ~
_{One Thousand Brave Young Soldiers}

         Don't waive the flag of the nation,
         If you waived the obligation.

     Does war
          make you mad
          when the mad
     Make war?

Award-Winning Poems

Does Anyone Know I'm Here?
          First Place World Wide
          Tom Howard/John H. Reid Poetry Contest
~ ~ ~
So Very Cold Outside
          Finalist
           Margie, The American Journal of Poetry, vol. 5
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*Note on Pun-Ditty:
Conspiring John -  Sen. John Ensign carried on an affair with a staffer who was married to another staffer, who was the mother of another staffer, and attempted to cover up his daliance by having his supporters hire the cuckold and his parents pay a bribe to the husband, Mr. Hampton.

        Getting ahead is easy done,
        Providing you can start with one.

       Proper use of ability
       Requires responsibility.

         What one sees differs man to man.
         Some see the dancer, some the fan.

         What's called the pinnacle of fame
         Might "the height of folly" be named.

        We all know that reality
        Is only what we think we see.

        Boston tunnels were flooded out,
        But, luckily, I brake for trout.

       Wine decreases inhibitions
       And increases exhibitions.

       When politicians speak their mind
      We usually find someone's behind.

        The choice is, a patient while you drive
        Or hospital patient, if you survive.


        Some think this safety plea well said:
        School bus students are best belted.

        "For example" is never proof,
         Nor sincerity ever truth.

        The old days weren't better back when,
        It's just that I was younger then.

      They say that time will heal all wounds,
      Which explains doctor's waiting rooms.}

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Single Stream Recycling

Haverhill's introducing

Single stream recycling

Here's a jingle, to make it clear

What's trash, what's not, and what goes where

Haverhill, MA, is introducing single stream recycling. Gargage goes into one container and all recyclables into another. No need to separate out jars, cans, paper or plastic. Just put with the newspapers that you have been putting out. Sorting is done automatically by specialized equipment.

This Recycling Jingle is not official, nor is it connected to or affiliated with the city in any way. It is simply a rhyme I created in response to all of the questions I got from going door to explain the program and help residents identify what is classified garbage and what is recyclable.

I have a few refrigerator magnets and calendar stickers left for Haverhill residents. They are free and they are first come, first serve. Send your request by email to dan@citizenpoet.com and I'll tell you how to get yours.

Legal note: The Recycling Jingle is copyright 2009 by Dan Speers. Govermental agencies and non-profits may use the jingle royalty free, with attribution. Commercial use or political usage is prohibited except by license.

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