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| Not the news the way you know it, but a jaundiced view, through the eyes of a poet . . . Dan Speers, Citizen Poet
Daniel E. Speers is the author of all poetry on this site. Other than short quotes for reviews, permission and/or licensing is required for use. Website and all contents Copyright 2009-2010 by Daniel E. Speers | |
|  A must read poem . . .
I Am a Poem, Bisensual I Am a Poem, Bisensual is the poem that's created all the buzz, the poem that reads you as you read it. CAUTION: This is an experimental, interactive poem. It is a living, sentient being, bisensual and bisexual. As you read this poem, it may make love to you.
twittergrams | A man's culture depends / On how gracious he does linger / And whether he extends / His middle or his little finger. janinewallace wrote - Glenn Beck – A Legend In His Own Mind via @
| To which I replied . . . @janinewallace Glen Beck's no legend in his mind / 'Cause his mind is really behind. |
Previous twittergrams: MeredithBell wrote - "Tell me what you pay attention to and I will tell you who you are." - Jose Ortega y Gasset To which I replied . . . @MeredithMBell You tell me what you think of someone else / And I'll tell you what you think of yourself.
janinewallace wrote - riddles are fun but not as much fun as puns. To which I replied . . . @janinewallace My puns like cream to the top rise / And though I try to always surpirse / Nothing cheesy gets pasteurize
tonystevens4 wrote - A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same. Hubbard #quote rt @LoriMoreno To which I replied . . . @tonystevens4 A friend is one with whom you share / Quirks about which they don't care.
mommadona wrote -The biggest threat to religion, politicians and business is a woman on the pill. To which I replied . . . @mommadona Not just a woman on the pill with choice / But degreed, salaried, and her own strong voice.
Bobzeno wrote -Gore Vidal: "Litigation takes the place of sex at middle age." To which I replied . . . @Bobzeno Are you sure he mentioned, Litigation? / I could have sworn he said, Lubrication.
inaimless wrote Palin writes down cost of extending bush’s tax cuts on her hand, still gets it wrong: http://bit.ly/9ObaZc #lol #p2 #tcot To which I replied . . . @inaimless Most people wash up when they stand / Palin reads what's left on her hand.
agville wrote Springfield City Council moves forward on urban-chicken farming http://bit.ly/aB6eqL To which I replied . . . @ So Springfield now debates a lot / Where lots of chicks get lots of cock?
Kellbo0 wrote Funniest thing from Wife Swap previews, the woman sees the goat and goes "A freakin SHEEP?" Where do they get these people? #p21. To which I replied . . . @ My love thinks swapping is a bore / Whatever would she swap me for?
wrote RT @: What's your favorite CAT food and why? < Depends on the wine I'm having. To which I replied . . . @ A Tiger for dinner would never do / That 500-pound pussy would eat you.
DCdebbie wrote Two exboyfriends texted me after DC earthquake, asking who I was with and what I was doing.
To which I replied . . . @DCdebbie I think our mates already knew / We still sure can make the earth move. OK Can we stop with the cock (a doodle) jokes?
GPappalardo wrote Every morning on the farm starts with a cock. A-doodle-doo. To which I replied . . . @GPappalardo When on the farm the dawn doth burst / The cock does the hardest thing first.
wrote RT @: "The love we give away is the only love we keep." - Elbert Hubbard To which I replied . . . @ @ When they say love is blind, I think / Explains whom I bed when I drink. ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~
rcaplice wrote: @dannyson1 Sign me up! I'm ready for Antarctica right now. This heat is awful To which I replied . . . @rcaplice Live north of Boston, near Hampshire / To cool off, had to build a fire. . ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~
MWM4444 wrote: In 97% of bird species, the male does not have a penis. To which I replied . . . @MWM4444 Bird dickies are rare, so says you / But I have seen a cockatoo. | ...ok, Tweeters, enough with the cock and hen jokes... |
Award-Winning Poems 
Does Anyone Know I'm Here? First Place World Wide Tom Howard/John H. Reid Poetry Contest ~ ~ ~ So Very Cold Outside Finalist Margie, The American Journal of Poetry, vol. 5
Does war make you mad when the mad Make war?
Enjoy the epigrams, poems, and short stories? This is a reader supported site. It's all free for your entertainment, and there's no obligation, but if you like to support and help out, please donate here:
| | Glen Beck lies to his crowd of sheep, Once more the truth drowns in defeat. | | Why do those who are explaining, Sound as if they are complaining. | Previous PunDitty's Whatever Glen Beck thought he sought, He proved bigotry needs no thought. --Washington rally, Washington white wash. She says Social Security must go I say keep it. Let Sharron Angle go. --RepubliCant Angle is running for the Senate in Nevada. | | Previous Epigrams Moderation, for what it's worth, Inspires the dullest lives on earth. If you're at sea, you can prevail. Don't pray for wind; learn how to sail. --A London reprise from Sharpened Speers | Read More of These in the PunDitty Vault | | Read More of These in Recent Epigrams |
The Poetry Blog Poems and Thoughts, and Observations . . . POETRY BLOG & ARCHIVES Click Read comments below each entry to write your own comment.
Embedded in the US Constitution, parrhesia, which means to speak candidly about literally everything, was also a fundamental element of classical Athenian democracy, including the right to question, criticize, or satirize, as well as the right to ridicule that Aristophanes used freely in his plays. Today, Americans expect and demand the truth not only in courts, political arenas, and assemblies, but in business, private discourse, and even personal relationships. Parrhesia. I see what I see, I write what I feel, I paint with words, the world.
And don't miss these great pages of satire and political punditry . . . GLEN BECK's PAGE Believe It or Not!! Read the Glenn Beck response to Dan's epigramic jibes. You won't believe what this nutcase said. 
You've heard him cry, how he exhorts, It comes from where he pulls reports. His magic underwear distorts Every word Glen Beck reports.
Please don't mention my name DREADICATIONS | Speers' points aimed at the truly weird |
The latest FOX News statistic: Twelve out of ten Liberal picks Will turn nation Communistic. Other four are Gay sadistic. After FOX News' Fuzzy Math FOX lies are well documented What ails FOX is Ailes demented. --Sharpened Speers
Fueled by FOX - Fooled by FOX
Conspiring John - Sen. John Ensign carried on an affair with a staffer who was married to another staffer, and who was the mother of another staffer, and attempted to cover up his daliance by having his supporters hire the cuckold. I'm a Hamptons' fan, the senator said, Some work on my staff, and some I embed. | | | |  The Further Adventures of the Wasilla Hillbillies Sarah laid bare . . . Todd barely keeps his ego fed . . . Levi can't keep his Levis on . . . Facebook face off . . . Up from the town came a bubbling crude Hillbillies, that is.
Sarah Palin makes John McCain boner, Says she'll campaign . . . in North and South Arizona.
 Zany Liz Cheney Launches "Keep America Safe"
Fighting Mad - Defends Dad Weighing Run for President Loopy Liz and old Dithering Dick. One a pinhead, the other a prick. Cheney says torture probe unfair, Perhaps we stick the probe elsewhere. ~~~~~ Meghan McCain Straight-Talking Dad Has Out-Spoken Daughter Calls Joe-the-Plumber a DumbAss Taunts Malkin, Coulter and Ingraham
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In Remembrance . . . Requiem for a Star In nature's perfect universe Parallel lines remain discrete, Yet Michael Jackson found the verse Where black and white could long last meet. |
"Requiem for a Star" published 2009 at MJFC, Michael Jackson Fan Club, www.mjfanclub.net Copyright 2009 by Dan Speers
Does war make you mad when the mad Make war? | |
Fun Sites I Really Like Poetry, Short Stories and More The Jittery Goat ~ ~ ~ Mario Piperni: Political Issues & Not ~ ~ ~ Daniel Kurtzman's Political Humor ~ ~ ~ Robert Neff A story in art and verse Dalmation Press
Poetry Types - Old Versus New If you are interested in styles and tyes of poetry, visit the ShadowPoetry site. There are excellent descriptions of traditional poetic forms well-known and obscure, as well as an extensive list of invented Poetry Types, an activity going back centuries and still practiced by modern-day poets. Also, take a look at my own invented poetry type, the Apigram.
Neil Diamond almost didn't make it to last year's Fourth of July concert with the Boston Pops. This is the story of the singer's midnight flight and fight to get to a Boston site late at night. Twit If by Land, Tweet If by Sea
The Spiral Staircase ~ ~ ~
Begin Again the Same Again ~ ~ ~ A new federal tax imposed April 1, 2009 dramatically increased the price of cigarettes and reminded me of my own battles with tobacco before I was able to break the habit a number of years ago. This poem is my story: The Last Cigarette ~ ~ ~ April 1: Budget, Smudgit, Fudgit April Fool's Day Have They No Cents? ~ ~ ~ April 7, 2009 Obama at the Front |
| | All content on this web site copyright by Daniel E. Speers
Spies and Lies! Two great books by Dan Speers: Tiger Woods: Ten Ways to Play the Lie and Master Spies Die Laughing.
Here's the book that takes on the CIA:  | Dan's latest novel reveals tomorrow's news today. The critics love it. Get your copy today! Click the eye! |
Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick holds a copy of my book Master Spies Die Laughing.  Parents, the police and the FBI have discovered school administrators and official Peeping Toms can secretely turn on computer cameras and monitor everything a student does at home from homework to changing clothes. But that's only tip of the iceberg. The authorities can not see your kids, they can track them and you using hidden spy chips in your underwear. Yes . . .
It's Happened Again! Big Brother is in your pants. Today's news: They're hiding spy chips in your underwear. Just like I wrote about last year in Master Spies Die Laughing. ...and that's just for starters. Take a look at this: Spy-Cams Hidden in Student Laptops Secretly Spy on Kids Just over a year ago, I also wrote all about how spy chips were being hidden in laptop computers in America. The Secret's Out! Dan revealed the underwear bomb in his book, Master Spies Die Laughing, page 55. And now... Read about spies in your pants. How they're bugging your underwear. (Chapter 2: Page 19) The NSA has a copy of my book. Why the hell didn't they read it? Everything is in the book--the liquid trigger, the detonator, the PETN. Could the authorities have prevented the attempted Christmas Day bombing? Master Spies Die Laughing Want a personalized autographed copy for your mate or special friend for Christmas? Click the eye and Dan will get it for you!
Here's the book that takes on the Tiger: Tiger Woods: Ten Ways to Play the Lie 
Why did the Tiger cheat on his wife? At last, the inside story --the book that names names, exposes the lies, covers the jokes and explains why it happened! Includes the famed Tiger Woods Dictionary. Tiger Woods doesn't win, but he's back! Yep, he's still Masters' bait. See for yourself. Read excerpts, sample chapters, reviews, and, of course, Citizen Poet's infamous satirircal poetry. Now with quotes from famous golfers and celebrities and even includes the exclusive and infamous 19th-hole version of the Tiger Woods Dictionary. The print edition of Tiger Woods: Ten Ways to Play the Lie is is available here, on Amazon.com, Barnes and Nobles, and other bookstores everywhere. Paperback: $7.50. Kindle and eBook editions for your laptop: $1.99. Tiger Woods unites wife and golf, Better a kiss than a kiss-off.
Boxes Lie Waiting  Dan's mystery "Boxes Lie Waiting" cited by Amazon.com, Publishers Weekly and Penquin Groups USA in Amazon.com's Breakthrought Novel contest. Learn all about the citation, discover the bizarre coincidence of the discovery of a real body exactly where Dan said it would be found, read the free excerpt HERE and sign up for free notification of publication date.
 In a bizarre coincidence, on the same day the local newspaper ran a story about Boxes Lie Waitng, which begins with the discovery of a body at Winnekenni Castle, the unbelievable happened. Police discover a body at Winnekenni Castle. And Dan gets a call.
Get Your Copy Now!
 Gov. Sanford's Lament 
NEWS ITEM - May 25, 2009 - Gov. Mark Sanford of South Carolina admitted an affair with a Latin lover from Argentina. The governor had originally clalimed to be hiking the Appalachian Trail, including on a Sunday that happened to be Nude Hiking Day. The press conference went like this... Don't Cry for Me, Appalachia
Sandford said God will make him whole, Though he put himself in the hole.
I hate to say I told you so What they show they show: X-Scanners  Airport scanners show all just fine, Give new meaning to "butt in line." You may as well grin and bare it, Your X-scan is going to share it. Male or female, X-scans will out Even those with the slightest doubt.
a tribute to Ted Kennedy . . . --a poem about this family, this pride of lions . . . and |
Featured Poems A Taste of Dirt ~ ~ ~ What Would He Do? ~ ~ ~
Everybody Loves Babies
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ W ar Poetry America's Burden ~ ~ ~ Dissention ~ ~ ~ Dead Certain ~ ~ ~ From Master Spies Die Laughing the novel, comes the ballad ~ ~ ~ One Thousand Brave Young Soldiers | |
| Poet Pokes Want Dan to let you know when he writes another of his famous, fun-poking, satirical pEpigrams? Sign up for your instant rush--the best laught of the day--the cutting jibe you can pawn off at the water cooler or use to break the ice at your next office meeting--or get a slap in the face from an irate member of your Bible study group. Be the first (and quite possibly the only) person in your circle to get these gems of poetic satire. Email, twitter, or an anonymous raspy voice in the middle of the night--one or all, your choice. Sign up today to get poked by the poet.
Citizen Poet is a new media site dedicated to observing and commenting on the news, and the people and events in the news. For more about us, our site and our objections, select About Citizen Poet. All poems and comment copyright by Daniel E. Speers Poems, epigrams, essays and comment on this site are written by and copyright by Daniel E. Speers and except for limited quotations in reviews, journals or articles under the doctrine of fair use, cannot be reprinted or duplicated by any means without express written permission. | Single Stream Recycling Haverhill's introducing Single stream recycling Here's a jingle, to make it clear What's trash, what's not, and what goes where Haverhill, MA, is introducing single stream recycling. Gargage goes into one container and all recyclables into another. No need to separate out jars, cans, paper or plastic. Just put with the newspapers that you have been putting out. Sorting is done automatically by specialized equipment. This Recycling Jingle is not official, nor is it connected to or affiliated with the city in any way. It is simply a rhyme I created in response to all of the questions I got from going door to explain the program and help residents identify what is classified garbage and what is recyclable. I have a few refrigerator magnets and calendar stickers left for Haverhill residents. They are free and they are first come, first serve. Send your request by email to dan@citizenpoet.com and I'll tell you how to get yours. Legal note: The Recycling Jingle is copyright 2009 by Dan Speers. Govermental agencies and non-profits may use the jingle royalty free, with attribution. Commercial use or political usage is prohibited except by license. | The Whole Enchilada Poet Pokes and Blognote Jokes JOIN THE CLUB! Sign up to join the thousands of people who are getting the latest satirical pEpigrams in their email, along with excerpts from Dan's largely irrevelant but always irreverent blog. No need to wait to pass my latest political Speers Point on to your friends and/or enemies, and it's totally free. [Your privacy protected and secure.] And speaking of free, feel free to submit questions, comments, groans and moans, critiques or observations.
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