|  NEWS ITEM - May 25, 2009 - It began innocently, a woman from Argentina, a man from South Carolina, a conversation, the woman talking about her separation from her husband, the man offering counsel. He asked for her email.
This was Mark Sanford's story as the governor of South Carolina held a press conference to admit to an affair with a Latin lover from Argentina. The governor had originally clalimed to be hiking the Appalachian Trail, including on a Sunday that happened to be Nude Hiking Day. Oddly, his first apology was not to his wife, or sons, or staff, or constituents, or the press. His first regret was proffered to his mistress. The press conference went something like this . . . Don't Cry for Me, Appalachia It wasn't easy, I sounded strange To ask forgiveness of my mistress At the press conference to explain all that I've done
You must believe me All you can see is a man who's contrite His illicit love came to light After deceiving all of you.
I tried to keep it secret, but that's all changed, My wife had no doubt, she kicked me out. She's there, I'm here, so I guess you're aware we're estranged.
I didn't seek this It all started innocently but then In Buenos Aires Her lips met mine In a kiss of hot Latin bliss.
Chorus:
Don't cry for me Appalachia Your trail is still calling to me Although I sampled Love on La Pampas I'll keep my pants on For Nude Hiking Day.
As for my career, and my good name I always took them for granted Since I showed to the world righteous faces of me.
There were illusions Along with my delusions of promises to keep And sacred vows I was too weak to preserve. I deserve my fate.
Don't cry for me Appalachia.
Chorus:
Don't cry for me Appalachia Your trail is still calling to me Although I sampled Love on La Pampas I'll keep my pants on For Nude Hiking Day.
Did I say too much? There's little more I can add to my email rants, Since all you have to do is read my words to her To know why I lost my pants.
Mark Sanford in the Woods But Wearing His Clothes
Can't Get Enough of Mark's Madness? Members of his own party have called on Governor Mark Sanford to resign, suggesting a misappropriation of state funds. Sanford continues to insist that the current wave of indignation is politically motivated. Jenny Sanford moved out of the governor's mansion, taking their three sons to a family home, and has since written a book detailing her experience. The couple is divorcing. It wasn't claustrophobia, But soul not sole made Jenny leave, Saying, bye, bye, Columbia. Apparently, Gov. Sanford has yet to master theArt of Shut Up. He wrote an Op Ed piece in South Carolina's The State newspaper recently in which he apologized yet again. He later opined that he was politically dead. When's the wake? Sanford's grateful for the hole into which he fell. It was, after all, God's will. It put the fun in funeral And opened up for him, a better whole to fill. And then, there's the "Family" Righteousness consolidated. C Street zealots dissipated. --Based on a vision and a visit from God in the guise of a CEO, cultists enjoy a tax-free subsidy for their Washington digs.
Wacky News
The Honolulu City Council is considering a $500 fine or six months in jail for bus riders who have offensive odors. What is it so bad that people do To stink up buses in Honolulu? If not the motor, must be the voter Paying the new fine for body odor.
Security guards hired through Wackenhut Services, a company founded by Dick Nixon's old pal, George, have been holding lewd parties with hookers and booze. Who are these manic, wacky nuts Guarding our Afghan embassy? Oh, I see. They're all Wackenhuts --Florida-type security.
Listening to many Republicans trying to insert the "ic" factor in describing the Democratic Party, I have to wonder that they don't seem to understand that most of literate America comes down strong on the correct usage of Democratic as an adjective and that by trying to intend a slur actually is more indicative of their own ignorance: When you say "Democrat Party" Instead of "Democratic," We know you're either ignorant Or a right-wing fanatic.
Spicy Quips from the Garden Sage: Punxsutawney Phil does go on Say's, NO, winter will not be gone! That rat must be RepubliCon.
They May Be Aliens But They Aren't Very Bright Aliens At a town hall meeting, one of the truly muddled showed up with a picture of the President with a Hitleresque moustache and made accusations of genocide to a man both Jewish and gay. Incredibly, both Faux News and Lush Lamebrain (and his Doo-Doo heads) took the side of the fool (doubly ironic since these are folks who rant about illegal aliens). What makes aliens from Mars even think They have the wit to take on Barney Frank? He is the master of cutting retorts And the irony is, he does it for sport. The birthers and haters, they haven't a clue Which of course explains the ordure they do. * * * * * In town hall meets, the lap dogs leap, Lying dogs needs be left asleep. Joe Lieberman Lieberman is no friend of man, He is the party of one The sole Party of Liberman. Joe Lieberman, party floater, Loves donors more than the voter.
The Politician He came in an empty sedan Said things no one could understand Managed to shake every hand Took from our pockets all but sand Left promising to come again Some said it was a preacher man Or at the least, a magician. But given the apparition I suspect a politician, Or else, a mortician.
Lines I Couldn't Resist: Republicans face the specter Of losing face by losing Specter. "If you get sick, you best die quick." This, Grayson claims, is the Cons' shtick. "If you get sick, you need to die."
Lines I Did Resist: Sen. John Kyl of Arizona Got in bed with Rep. John Boehner. The Stimulous Plan made them pout So they pulled a Palin and pulled out.
--of politics and bedfellows
Why Can't These Fools Keep Their Mouth's Shut? Pat Robertson spews a venom, Himself, the demented demon. -On the day after the earthquake in Haiti.
Blowing in the Political Wind Birds of a feather are a focussed lot, For them, what is, is, even if it's not. | | Where blind belief resides, That's where the truth hides. The opinion of the majority, Determines neither fact nor equity. Make time for FOX, ignore real news, That's the path Angle and Paul choose. Voting for the best man is perfection, But that's a wedding, not an election. Conservative rightwing pomposity, Invites tyranny by minority. A head that is filled with bias, Has no room for social justice. Venting anger makes you look mean, When you're letting off self-esteem. The greater a fool's ignorance, The greater is his confidence. Those who follow FOX news, Sadly follow FAUX news Extremists do and think as taught; Thus is loyalty cheaply bought.
Barely had the World Soccer Cup begun, When the U.S. beat England 1 to 1. http://soccer.fanhouse.com/2010/06/12/u-s-ties-england-on-clint-dempsey-goal/ Ignorance is both bliss and blind, --Can't see reason without a mind. What starts as fanaticism, Often ends as barbarism. The BP crime is not complex; Tar and feather the oil execs. Obama tackles the oil scum Warns them to get the job done. There's oil scum on the Gulf, oil scum On the beach, and in the board room. Why do those who don't vote expect To gripe about those we elect. How ironic that it's oil scum, That's sucking up the oil scum. Bigots fight reason with rancor, And don't take know for an answer. Why is it always the bigots The first to disagree with us? With facts, belief is not required. For beliefs, facts are not desired. Oil execs say they are certain, 'Twasn't BP or Transocean Or even Dick's Halliburton - 'Twas the man behind the curtain. The greater a fool's ignorance, The greater is his confidence. The oil spill is an accident The guilty chose not to prevent. Today our pristine Gulf's hurting Because of Cheney's Haliburton. To have liberty, one must free One's prejudices from tyranny. Conan seems seems stronger more secure Getting screwed has helped him mature. Senate had The Lord's Prayer disposed; Eighteen admendments were proposed. --with a nod to Sen. Hary Wilson, W/R-MA Speaking their minds as critics do Doesn't mean what they say is true. The greater the bigotry The fewer convictions we see. Arizona takes on an enemy, Whose darker skin betrays identity. To ignorance, Teabaggers clutch, Mediocrity is their crutch. Here's a RepubliCant concept Trade your chicken for a health check. --GOP Candidates ClusterFlock Chicken for Health Plan Those Teabagging gun-toting slobs, Turns out they're just sad, scraggly mobs. RepubliCants attack Wall Street reform, Hate Obama more than Goldman-Sachs harm. In Boston, teabaggers exchanged Misinformation pre-deranged. Why do RepubliCants see lots to fight But can not find a single thing that right?
It's always those most ignorant Who never lose an argument. The RepubliCants bravely don't cower From any abuse of their lack of power. It's official and on the census form, Barack Obama listed his race as ... African-American. Who knew? ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Michael Steele says race makes job hard But for RNC, it's not race What it was was the credit card. Even freedom has its limits, Freedom is what the law permits . If hot nasty sex talk is your desire, Check out the latest RNC flier. -GOP Fundraiser lists phone sex line as contact Michael Steele's staff sure found it hard When they used their RNC card. -GOP spends $$$ on luxury jets, ritzy hotels and sex clubs. Do RepubliCant donations, Inspire strip club celebrations? -GOP spends $$$ on luxury jets, ritzy hotels and sex clubs. Thousands spent by RepubliCants Getting into and out of pants. -GOP spends $$$ on luxury jets, ritzy hotels and sex clubs. Health Care is, Mitt Romney forgets, What he signed in Massachusetts. It's true. Health Care became the Waterloo; But it's RepubliCants in deep doo-doo. -RepubliCants called Health Care Obama's Waterloo. RepubliCants miscalculated; On health care vote they're emasculated. Vigirnia AG, a certified nut, Pulling his ideas out of his butt. Birther, homophobe, SS paranoid. Gina Thomas launches Tea Party site While Clarence does his teabagging at night. SC legalizes Politics.Inc. , Gina tests the brink. Glen Beck now a national laughingstock After touting the Tickle-Me Massa schlock. 
So an author named Charles M. Blow Gives head with: "Don't Tickle Me, Brow!? A story from the NY Times. Demonizing other humans, Makes the demonizers demons. True believers are satisfied, With beliefs that can't be verified. Here's news for Rove on what is politic, Sex is not a weapon, but genetic. --On reports that Rove's father was gay, Rove called it a poltical attack. And of course, the pot would know. Rove and Bush shared brains, some posit, Well, that explains why each is a half wit. Conservatives view what's new as a crime, Think nothing should be done for the first time.
Zealots create the malady, Then morph into the remedy. Palin contracts new book of wit, I'll waste no time in reading it. Shaping of truth is politic; It's politicians that bend it. You ask, Why should health care apply To all, equally as a right? Do we not all equally die? Jim Bunning shows his ignorance, With the help of RepubliCants. No, no, no, no, sings the Can't Whore, Song of death from Eric Cantor. Do RepubliCants spell summit, No, Na, Nada, Nay, Nope and Nyet? The epidemics we should fear, Are those spread by the lies we hear. Rights die with McDonnell mandate, Virginia now the State of Hate. --Newly elected RepubliCon Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell has by mandate eliminated non-discrimination based on sexual orientation. Where and when an authority censors, Authoritarianism enters.
Weird how weird beliefs always find, Some weird person with a weird mind. Those who want freedom of speech outght, To first attempt freedom of thought. One tolerates atrocities, By believing absurdities. Even today's majority, Was yesterday's minority. Cowardly politicians hide Behind any populist tide. Finger to the wind does abide Whom they see as the winning side. Walking tall into the den, Went the President Bearded the lions who sought to vent, And set a precedent. Barack Obama and Scott Brown have roots, In Haverhill, MA, where with many offshoots From Archie to Macy's to poets and boots. http://www.newenglandancestors.org
Sad the Haitian remedy, Lies solely in catastrophe. FOX ignores the Haitian earthquake; Burying lives, grave fortunes make. --FOX News scum refused to run Hope for Haiti Now, instead airing the lies of O'Relly and Hannity. For Sale Cheap: Supreme Court corpse No Soul. That sold to U.S corps. --Supreme Court lifts political campaign limits for corporations.
Scott Brown is a family values man Honors his daughters as only Lot can. --Offers daughters as virgins to the mob: Genesis 19:8
Scott Brown is nude for all to see RepubliCon hypocrisy. Democracy allows, for unity, Ignorance equal opportunity. Being a liberal, you see, I understand all that can be 'Cept those who don't understand me. Distrust leaders who build trust for themselves By making voters distrust someone else. The Puritans. The Taliban. Can you explain morals in Government to me again?
Letterman Exposed What Letterman was dipping in Explains at last Dave's dippy grin.
To show you are strong, bring your faults to light
'Cause you're always wrong, if you're always right.
To win the race, you must stand fast To the maxim: You must run fast.
| | Glen Beck lies to his crowd of sheep, Once more the truth drowns in defeat. Whatever Glen Beck thought he sought, He proved bigotry needs no thought. --Washington rally, Washington white wash. She says Social Security must go I say keep it. Let Sharron Angle go. --RepubliCant Angle is running for the Senate in Nevada. John McCain turned the trick; he won Trick was, he turned so fast, he spun. --Sen McGain spent $20 mil and his credibility to win the primary. No Mosque here. No Mosque here. Oh, no, No non-Mosque not at Ground Zero. It is so nice, We did it twice. What is it bigots think they show The non-Mosque not at Ground Zero? Palin does racially abuse, But as employee of FOX News Does she express FOX N-word views? Sharron Angle holds fake rally. Fake doctors help boost her tally. --Partisans dress up as doctors at an Angle rally. God told Sharron Angle to run. God wanted to ensure Reid won. Rand Paul and Sharron Angle vent, To their states' sad embarrassment. Sharron Angle has the quaint view That the news is what's fit to skew. Breitbart called Sherrod a racist, With the distorted lies of a sadist. http://mediamatters.org/research/20100727009 The Tides show Glen Beck pychotic, Floats the lies of a lunatic. http://www.tiny9.com/u/6391 Buck calls Teabaggers "dumbasses." --Looks in mirror sans his glasses. CO GOP Senate candidate Ken Buck attacked tea-party activists who doubt President Obama's birth certificate. Bush has lost his Dick, Cheney lost his heart, But the ass who lost his ass was Breithart. What MSNBC reports, CNN reports; FOX distorts. Sarah Palin's "refudiate," One more "puck-up" to celebrate. Bristol Palin now spreads the news, Shows us what Levi Johnston views. Sharon Angle has such odd views, Even she wants to squelch the news. Obama's war says Michael Steele, To fools whom ignorance appeals. Among quitters and losers you will find, Sarah Palin is up front, but still behind. Ozzy Osbourne is still alive, --Much to his own surprise. Senator Sessions's certifiable, And Kagan's strengths are verifiable. Eureka slipped from Palin's mind, Another college left behind. Sarah Palin, from where she sits Pulls her Hitler BP fund twits. McChrysal relieved in drama; Not as relieved as Obama. Oil-symp Joe Barton still believes, Taking BP funds makes us thieves. Sharron Angle knows no tangent, But her angle's seriously bent. Tony Hayward sails to windward, Takes wrong tack this tacky bassturd. Drilling deep to stop leak. Hayward turns into a creep. GOP, FU And BP, U2. http://twurl.nl/y2rl7e Joe Barton's BP apology Shows GOBP sympathy. Sharron Angle says water spreads HIV-Aids. Again. What's her creds? http://tiny.cc/3jz1b Sharron Angle has some odd views But ending cocktails is weird news. The US Senate candidate wants to ban booze in Nevada. Did Sarah Palin get new boobs?
No, they're the same bunch of dumb dudes. Sarah Palin's off the deep end; Says drill demand never happened. http://bit.ly/czv3BB So Rand Paul is not certified His statements eyed, they found he lied. http://bit.ly/cJSXQK Liz Cheney, Dad and barbs that stick
--Some Dick, some schtick and yes, some prick. http://huff.to/9lkqeL Glen Beck has done it once again. Opened his mouth and drained his brain. http://huff.to/9iGYMG Sarah Palin puts facts in line, But oddly they all seem behind. http://tiny.cc/l0fzp English only would have one benefit, Most Americans would have to learn it. Mark Souder's staggering ignorance, Kept him in his office, but not in pants. Republican representative resigns over affair http://tiny.cc/3dc64 Rand Paul misspoke his backers say, Today's truth lies in yesterday. Bristol Palin to spread her views But when she spreads, she tends to lose. When politicians speak their mind, I think you'll find someone's behind. Why is it most RepubliCants Represent States of Ignorance? Obama tackles the oil scum Drills the lame execs a new one. President Obama Rebukes Oil Companies. http://bit.ly/bBbU8P George Bush's book tells a story, Which, of course, lies in history. Sarah Palin's new book of wit? I'll waste no time in reading it. In Utah, Bennett was handed his coat By all his supporters who didn't vote. Which made it harder for Rekers . . .
To make the gays straight - or straighter? George Alan Rekers claims to switch gay fate. Must be really hard when he makes gays straight. Right-wing Christian preacher hired a Rent-a-Boy. http://bit.ly/anE6Yc Today our pristine Gulf's hurting Because of Cheney's Haliburton. From Alaska: Drill, Baby, Drill. Gulf disaster: Kill, Baby, Kill. Fill the coffers was what Bush said, He who filled coffins with the dead. Read http://bit.ly/6O0GlZ and see Dead Certain George Bush was Dead Certain: http://citizenpoet.com/DeadCertain.aspx Lowden says farmerceuticals, Will buy your pharmaceuticals. --GOP Candidate's ClusterFlock Chicken for Health Plan Health care chickens not so strange, It's the dozen eggs that's your change. Let's put our faith in Lowder-Care Give a chicken for our health care. --GOP Candidate's ClusterFlock Chicken for Health Plan
Bill O'Reilly is such a bore, Defends lying by lying more. Massa's generosity is touching, Depending, of course, on what's he touching. --Rep. Eric Massa wrote $40,000 check to chief of staff after quitting Congress admidst sexual harrassment charges. http://bit.ly/aGFSsX Haley Barb0ur: "Slavery no big deal." RepubliCants: Is this man your ideal? McCain is living in desparation But is it cliche or indiscretion. John McCain recalls what was then, Wants now to be the same again. The saddest words: What might have been. John McCain's pique is now a pout Says vote him in and he'll stay out. --John McCain pledges to opt out of bpartisansihip in Senate. Michelle Bachmann claims the RepubliCants Will merge with Teabaggers in a new stance. Won't that double the spread of ignorance? -- http://huff.to/cyyFWQ Dumbing Down Texas Textbooks Liberty does not have a chance In minds enslaved by ignorance. Note how education vexes The illiterate in Texas. Evolution favors no favorites; It could be evolving more idiots. Hiding the facts only distracts Weak minds. It doesn't change the facts. Jefferson cited church-state separation Not Texas students from education. Texas celebrates ignorance At the hands of RepubliCants. Chatty Joe Biden Biden oft has nothing to say But then he says it anyway.
Joe Wilson's raison d'etre "I won't be muzzled," Wilson swore, He's right, of course. Muzzles are for --the other end of the horse. --This is the epigram I sent to the South Carolina newspaper, The State. Joe Wilson's real chicanery Lies in his fake sincerity. Sandford and Wilson both got ripped When pants and lips these fools unzipped. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ The foibles of these South Carolina politicians would be truly funny but for the fact that their state ranks so far behind in health care for women, children, and the poor of all races.
Hour after hour, twelve people die. Health insurance they could not buy. The land of the free ain't is why. --Statistic based on a Harvard Research Study
Rush Limbaugh Lush Lamebrain claims "blind hatred" got him banned. That the hatred was his, he didn't understand. Public furor over Limbaugh's possible purchase ownership in an NFL team. Lush Lamebrain and his Doo-doo heads Grow their own hate just like inbreds. Lush Lamebrain and his doo-doo heads, Their future lies in shared hatreds. --On his show yesterday, Rush Limbaugh resurrects Obama-Hitler comparisons.
 The foibles and follies of the Palin chronicles. If Palin, Cheney and Quayle were hunting game, Would Cheney shoot a Quayle or a bird brain? In response to an essay on MarioPiperini.com. Poor Palin left her thoughts behind, Must be where her thoughts we'll find. Palin writes her thoughts on her hands, Should wipe her notes before she stands. Read more about the adventures of Sarah Palin and her reality family of Wasilla Hillbillies HERE.
Tea Party and Teabaggers These Teabaggers who chose their name Should hang their heads and bags in shame. Is 'Teabagger' an epithet? -- Jay Nordlinger of National Review Online, argues in an op-ed entitled "Rise of an Epithet," that the name may be detrimental to the cause. Will teabagger make history, Most dips ever at Grand Ole Opry? Sarah Palin was paid a fee To speak words too cheap to be free. In Nashville now the teabaggers, The backers, slackers and crackers.
Franken Wins. Bill-O Loses. Everytime we hear the name Of Bill-O, Bill O'Reilly, We will forever link his name To Franken's Stuart Smiley. See it all at: Minnesota Madness
| |